Who Have You Allowed to Influence Your Leadership?

One of the things I've been reflecting on recently is how much the people around us shape the leaders we become.

I've been leading for over 37 years, and if I've learned anything during that time, it's that leadership isn't developed in isolation.

We need people.

Not just people who encourage us.

We need people who challenge us.

People who see things differently.

People who have permission to tell us when something isn't working.

People who will ask questions we haven't thought to ask.

People who help us see ourselves more clearly.

This is where self-awareness becomes so important.

I've experienced moments when someone has given me feedback that initially feels uncomfortable, and my first instinct would have been to explain, defend or dismiss it.

I've learned to try to ask a different question:

“What might I be able to learn from this?”

This doesn't mean every criticism is correct. It doesn't mean we have to agree with every opinion.

Being teachable isn't weakness.

It's about recognising that I cannot see everything.

Proverbs 12:15 says,

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

This a challenging verse for any leader.

As we become more experienced, there is a danger that we can become more certain rather than more curious. However, if we're serious about developing other leaders, we need to model something different.

We need to be willing to learn, unlearn and relearn.

People are watching us.

If I tell the leaders around me that I want them to bring ideas, challenge assumptions and take ownership, but I become defensive whenever they disagree with me, what am I really teaching them?

I'm teaching them to keep their ideas to themselves.

That's not leadership development. That's compliance.

Over the years, I've become much more intentional about getting the right people around me.

People who complement me.

People who challenge me.

People who know me well enough to see things I might miss.

People who are willing to tell me the truth.

That's part of what sits behind the Lead You Collective.

I don't want it simply to be another place where leaders consume leadership content.

I want it to become a place where leaders can think, reflect, question, learn and grow together.

A place like this is important, as none of us has finished becoming the leader we're capable of becoming.

Who has permission to challenge your leadership?

And, perhaps the more uncomfortable question:

Would you actually listen if they did?